Two old friends laughing and hugging on a train platform in warm golden hour light

Keep & Connect.

Somewhere right now, someone you used to talk to every day is wondering whether it would be weird to write to you. It would not be weird.

A small manifesto

Nobody decides to lose touch. It happens one unanswered message at a time, one "we should grab a coffee" at a time, one move to another city at a time.

And then the gap feels too big to cross, so we do not cross it. Which makes it bigger.

Here is the secret: the first message is the only hard one. Everything after it is just talking again.

Today's person

Who are you thinking of?

Pick someone.
Press the button and we will choose for you. You already know their name.
Hey, I was just thinking about you. It has been far too long. How are you, really?
Nothing is sent from here. You copy, you paste, you press send. That part is yours.
A hand holding a smartphone over a kitchen table with a cup of coffee in soft morning light
The excuses, answered

"But it has been so long."

They have probably forgotten me.

People rarely forget the ones who made them laugh.

I would not know what to say.

Say that you thought of them. That is the whole message.

It will be awkward.

For about four seconds. Then it will be lovely.

They might not reply.

Then you will have sent kindness into the world anyway. Not bad for a Tuesday.

How to reconnect without making it a thing

Five rules.

  1. Do not apologise for the silence for more than one sentence. It happened to both of you.
  2. Mention one specific memory. Specific beats sincere-but-vague every time.
  3. Ask one real question, not "how are things".
  4. Do not propose a plan in the first message. Let the door open first.
  5. Send it today. Not after you have "thought about it". You have thought about it for years.